A Week In Review.

I love the casual days of life, that fade in and out, and are so kind and good that you don't have to keep a place in your memory to retain them.   

A week in review:

Not the best week.

For a lot of people I love.

This week one of my dearest friends said to me,

"I just know I need you.."

And I swear there was an actual tear of my heart.

And a wish thrown to the universe and a prayer, to be in two places at once, or just exactly where she is.

And an unspoken delicate prayer for God to give her dad back to her, knowing its impossible.

A thousand prayers for my sweet friend.

And Addy.

Oh Addy, Downs Sydrome & two holes in her heart.

I know that those who are aware of her, feel as if they have holes to match hers.

My cousin had a perfectly healthy baby boy.

Liam.

My cousin Lindsay lost a baby.

Another friend gave birth to her third baby girl.

A traumatic and delicate birth.

She was a rock star.

Our family friend passed away.

My friend looked me in the eye, and said..

"I don't like life"

And I hugged her as she wept.

My friend went to sell her wedding ring, her divorce is being finalized.

Her: "They only wanted x amount, and I said no.."

Me: "I would think that you would sale it and not even think twice, happy to have it gone.."

Her: "I know, but it just was overwhelmed with it all, the disapoinment in him, the disapointment in myself.. our failure"

Me: "I guess it's kinda like trying to put a price on a promise, a vow, a commitment to someone else, your entire life in one tiny object.  No amount of money will ever sound like enough."

My baby brother turned 24.

He has special needs.

Me: "Bubba, how old are you?"

Andrew: "24"

Me: "Oh my gosh, that is so old!"

Andrew: "I know, can you believe it!" He sounded disgusted fyi:)

Me; *I'm 27* "Bubba, you're finally older then me.."

Andrew: "Yes!!! finally!"

Me: Laughing, so very hard.. the kid has always wanted/claimed to be older then me, no idea why..

And one of my best friends in the entire world, called on her way up North..

for a job interview. 

And I was really mature in my reaction to her news about why she was headed that way..

Me:

"Okay, I can't handle this right now.. I gotta go"

Tash:

"I love you.."

Me:

K. (give me some credit, I was NOT letting her know that I was borderline hysterical, the throat was all sorts of spasming)

(I do not like getting news that alters my world over the phone, or news like that in general..)

And I instantly placed a call to my therapist.

 Mom: "Hi Pooh.." (like the bear, yeah my mom totally calls me Pooh)

Me: "Hi Momma.."

Mom: "How are you?"

Me: "Sad.."

Mom: "Why?"

And so began the uncontrollable sobbing.

Sometimes life just gets heavy, and sometimes I just get so paniked and can't find steady ground.. anywhere.

Being sick for a week straight with who the heck knows what..  does not help at all.

Fastforward to a few hours after hang up (and a call to Tash, a more grown up, "if you're gonna leave me.. I will be fine" kind of convo) I wrote on my mom's fb..

"Momma, Momma, Momma.. Thank you for saving my little heart tonight. I love you so."

Mom: "Oh sweetie, don't you know you saved mine? I love you more.."

And so, a week over.

I am glad its over.

Thinkin I might do a recap of my week, every Saturday.

We'll see how long that lasts..

And last, I wanna remember this because it is kinda funny.

There is a guy in my life who I spend a fair amount of time with..

Me: "You're a dork"

Him: "Nope! I'm a sweet, tangy treat!"

It did nothing whatsoever to abolish my theory of him being gay.



How did your week go?