She's Standing In Absolute Defeat.

Cut to the scene in the movie, its silent.

It's black and white, nearly without variation seemingly gray.

She stands alone in the center of an empty parking lot, feeling as if the entire world has vanished, perhaps it has.

She's standing in absolute defeat.

The silence surrounding her, blinding with its pressure.

It's bitter cold, her breath is tangible.

The camera spans around revealing nothing but pavement and vacant parking spots for what seems like miles.

And she screams.

"Forgive me"

"Forgive me"

"Forgive me"

Please..

"Forgive me"

She falls to the ground, on her hands and knees, a beggar. Pleading through screams so profound in their anguish.. with a weight far too heavy to carry any longer... tears exhausted by the amount of time this has taken. Fading, fading, fading.. She knows she's fading.

She screams until hoarse..

"Forgive me.."

Weeping..

"forgive me.."

"please, please, please.. forgive me.."

"It was killing me, staying here.."

"I'm sorry.."

"I'm so sorry.."

Thoughts racing through her mind.. knowing what she does, the road she has traveled, the wounds she sustained, the wounds she inflicted on herself and others..  She chose this scar.  She whispers to the pavement which is nothing more then a breath away from her lips.. "We forgive to the degree that we love, don't you know that? Don't you?  So if you love me, like you say you do, if you feel any ounce of kindness, you'll find a way, it's been so long.. love me, just find the courage to love me.." Thinking that maybe, just maybe he'll hear her.. even if every particle of her feels broken and silenced.

The sun has faded into yesterday and another day has been marked by his inability to forgive her.  There is an unspoken ailment of hurt that cannot be mended by anything but his forgiveness, how he would free her he has no idea..  Yet how much he would free himself would be the kindest thing he could do for himself.  And until that day comes, a part of her will remain in that very spot, unmoved. 

She's stronger then she looks, to show such raw vulnerability and sorrow sometimes requires the greatest amount of bravery.  And sometimes disheveled is someones character shining through with perfect clarity.  She will wait.

I will wait.

William Blake said, "It is easier to forgive an enemy then it is to forgive a friend.."

I know this to be true.

and for the record, this is the kind of post that causes your heart to stop after pressing publish.
I am fine by the way.