I Will Silence My Voice.

Ask me who this is about, and I will silence my voice.

Don't even try Mom.

This post, as much as I wish for light hearted banter, it's not here today.

This might be scattered, reckless in its unraveling..

But sometimes bravery is messy.

You might believe in addiction, you may not.

It's as real as the sun, and yet to some as untouchable as that very star.

The sun is just that, a star.. and somehow the center of our universe, a universe that I know next to nothing about.

Like addiction, you find yourselves as your own center, the world revolves around you.. and you forget to notice how great of an effect you have on your own personal universe. 

Your heart is a core so many need.

And you cave.

Your light slowly dims.

Your quiet warmth fades into a chill that consumes the bones of those around you, who love you the very most.

Lost starts to feel like home.

And everyone who loves you, tries their best, without fail.. to not feel your pain, feel your struggle, until eventually they have to let you go.. they have to.

Because co-dependancy is almost as painful if not more painful then being addicted.

A variation of addiction.

I know addiction well.

That is a post my friend, that oh.. well.. uhm.. not today.

It's almost hypocritcal of me to write this, but from the outside looking in..

It's different.

This is a hurt, that is so different.

To be a part of the suns universe..

And you want to scream at the sun.

Scream until your voice gives out..

Fix them.

Mend them.

Tell them how afraid you are.

Tell them how you just can't do it, you're strength is limited.

But you can't.

You're just a part of the suns world, you're revolving until further notice.

And left to wonder if it would be easier to have never known how brightly it shined before this.

I'm on your side.

And I am all so blue.

Cuz I am still a child.

And I know that you are too.

Pancakes spinnin' round the sun.

Flat earth  projects have begun.

Catwalk on suburban trains.

Summer is inside your veins, your veins.

Yes I am on your side

And I am all so blue.

And don't you feel inside

That I still believe in you?

I still believe in you.

-The Soundtrack Of Our Lives