I Blame Katy Perry.

There are some things I just don't understand in this life.

One of them is fireworks shooting out of your chest.

Can you imagine?

Another questionable thing...

Most of Katy Perry's lyrics.

I feel like she's robbed some poor 12 year old girl of her poetry she's written down in her journal, after that boy that sits next to her who she just so happens to be in love with... broke her heart by passing a note to another girl one day at school.

None the less I sing along to all of her songs..

Loudly.

Except Peacock.

Don't even get me started on Peacock.

HOWEVER....  I would be her friend in a Hollywood second..

I don't know if she's taking applications for friends at this time, but I would apply.

Bur out friendship would be complicated..

I'm sure there would be a fight here & there..

Scene:

Me: "No Katy Perry.. I will not dye my hair blue.."

Katy: "Dang it Shay, you're the most boring friend I have, honestly.. so boring you with your stupid Red Lipstick & Melodies.."

Me: "Shut up, Katy Perry, I just don't want to outshine you, we all know I would look way cooler with blue hair, and you're the star.. we don't want people to realize I'm a bleeping comet."

Katy: "You're so mean.. I wish you were from California."

Me: "Whoa, whoa, whoa.. Katy Perry.. Not everyone can be a bleeping California girl, blame Utah, not me.. And you need to just calm down, I don't want you to shoot fireworks out of your bra at me, again."

and end scene.

Hold it.

And in a never before seen clip..

Katy: "I cannot believe you came back just to slap me across the face all because your blogger friend  from Texas, who you totally stalk because of Reagan's blob, told you to."

Me: "Never underestimate the power of a blogging friend, don't make me slap you again Katy Perry."

and scene.

Back to what I don't understand in life.

For the past year or so I have questioned if I have ever felt like a plastic bag, and what the fareaking crap it even means.

Until I was sitting in my car during lunch today, and I was busy thinking about how not in a good mood I was/am..  and it hit me...

"Oh my gosh, I totally feel like a plastic bag right now.."

"I get it!"

I blame Katy Perry.

And when I get to heavens gate and they say...

And just what was your cause of death Plastic Bag?

I'll say "Katy Perry."

Facebook status post lunch.

Shaylynn Middlenameless Kilfoyle: I feel like such a plastic bag.

Commenter #1: What? How is that even possible?

Commenter #2: What does a plastic bag feel like? Useful to carry things? Stumped.

Shaylynn Midlenameless Kilfoyle: You guys are so old.