Big Ol' Fight.

By the time you're reading this..

my checking account will have already been drained of a sufficent amount of funds, due to my a-hole of a car.

We're in a big A$$ fight.

I hate him.

He's a standard, therefor he's a he.

A conversation between my car & me,  it's owner.

Who are we kidding the car own's me.

Me: I'm so pissed at you.

Car: I'm aware. Beep.

Me: When I saw that green crap underneath you the other day, I almost sat down in the parking lot and cried.

Car: I know, I was watching. Your face was priceless. Beep.

Me: Don't you love me anymore?

Car: I haven't loved you since you kicked me in the butt last summer, when you were mad. Don't think, I've forgotten. Beep.

Me: No one will ever believe you.

Car: I've posted a picture on your blog, as proof. I'm a very talented car. Beep.

Me: Oh no you di'nt.

Car: I hope when I'm dead and gone, you'll never kick a car again, no matter how mad you are at someone. Beep.

Me: Oh, gees, just get over it already. I like that dent, I've learned a lot from it.. mostly..

I can't believe it isn't all the pin'in rage.

*I don't pin, fyi*

Me: Don't you remember all the adventures we've had? We've been across the United States together.  You took me from Coast to Coast. We've moved 17 different times. Just you and me and boxes full of crap.

Car: Don't bring up the past. Beep.

Me: You're on my last nerve, Charlie.

Car: Don't call me Charlie, you've never named me in 9 years, don't start now. Beep. And WHY aren't you wearing Red Lipstick,  Miss Melody? Beep.

Me: You know too much.

Me: Don't you understand that I was planning on using the money I have to now give to the mechanics.. towards an airline ticket, so I could go to San Diego and be with my best friend? Because I don't trust you. Now I have to wait it out, again.

Car: You could ask your dad. Beep.

Me: Don't even go there, you know I'm not emotionally stable.

Car: Fine, I'm sorry. He's just a good mechanic. Beep.

Me: And you're an emotionally insesitive man-car.

Car: Have you thought about hooking up with a mechanic?  Beep.

Me: Obviously. 

Car: Have you ever noticed you don't have an upper lip? Beep.

Me: Have you ever noticed you don't have any lips at all?

Me: I don't wanna talk to you anymore. You've cost me way too much this year.

Car: You're just lucky to have me. Beep.

Me: I know. Knock it off, just get better.. So I can stop hating you.  The blown tire.  That man who helped me, only to request money.  Crying when I got home.  Figuring out how to charge your A.C. all on my own. The Upper Ball Joints in November.. You've been hard on me.

Car: Hate me? Well I love you, you've never once let me run out of gas.  I think its because you've got that strange paranoia, you might need help. Beep.

Me: Don't you dare pull the love card. And yes, you're right, I'm afraid. 

How angry do I look??

Ahahaahahahahahah.

Life is just so so hard, someone please call my mom..

Oh wait I already did (real convo)

Me: Hi Mom.. (fastforward through the car convo..) I just really, really, really wanna drink and drink, and drink some more.

Mom: Shaylynn, you know that's not the answer.

Me: Yes it is, but it doesn't matter.. I can't afford to drink anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is how I really feel about my car/unexpected bills/putting off a vacation to California. 

And this is the face I made after I realized that you all just saw my cavities/fillings. It sucked the color right out of the camera. I swear I brush me teeth once a week.

And I really am lucky to have a car that has been quite good to me for quite a while.

San Diego.. oh I'm comin for you.

Even if I have to walk.